Resolution - a solution?

Have you observed toddlers who’ve just learnt to walk? Swaying, unsteady, neck breaking speed and completely mindless. I used to know this child from my neighborhood, who would climb on the cot, start walking and continue to walk even after reaching the edge of the cot. A loud thud, one long wail and in ten minutes he was ready to start all over. I am like this in some ways. Just never learn from my experience, mindless and/or blind.

People, I have a problem getting close to people. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not asocial; it’s actually the opposite. When I get close to someone, I take it to a different plane. I live their lives, up in arms to protect, assume emotional responsibility and become more a mother than a friend. Then as it has happened one too many times, people move – move jobs, move city, get married and get busy with their new lives. Internet has shrunk the world, but it’s not the same as meeting that friend at lunch everyday at work or travelling together in train. An email here, a sms there or “oh, that one’s on my facebook” and truck loads of boring forwards. So much for connectivity!

So many friends, several moved on but I haven’t gotten used to handling this situation. I sulk, sulk and sulk till I get sick of myself. I am the kind who felt depressed at the end of school picnic. After all the fun and games, going home without friends was a dreadful thought. Do you know, what I mean?

Ok, that’s me, not very strong when a relationship loses its intensity. But I could certainly keep myself under check and not get too involved with people, right? It amazes me that I haven’t learnt that either. Just like that mindless boy – run, thud, wail….run, thud, wail…. (only that I take much longer to recover).

Someone told me that sulking in public helps one heal quickly; trying that.

Have a super 2010!